How to write wedding vows (that actually feel like you)

Writing your wedding vows can feel like a lot.

You’re about to stand in front of your favourite people and say something meaningful to the person you’re choosing forever.

No pressure… right?

And somewhere along the way, it can start to feel like they need to be perfect - emotional, well-written, maybe even a little poetic.

But here’s the truth:

They don’t.

Your vows don’t need to impress anyone. They don’t need to sound like something you found online.

They just need to feel like you, and the way you are together.

Start with your story

Before you try to write anything, just take a moment to think about the two of you.

How did you meet? What were your first impressions? When did it start to feel like something more?

It’s often the smaller, everyday things that matter most.

The way you are together. The little habits. The things no one else really sees.

That’s usually where the best vows come from.

Say what you actually love

This is your chance to say what you genuinely love about your partner.

Not what sounds good, what feels true.

It might be:

• the way they make you laugh when you need it most

• how they always check in on you

• how they make you feel when they say 'I love you'

• or the way they quietly support you without making a big deal of it

Specific always feels more meaningful than general.

Make a few simple promises

At the heart of it, vows are just promises.

They don’t have to be big or dramatic, they just need to mean something to you.

You might promise:

• to always be on each other’s team

• to support each other through whatever comes next

• to keep showing up, even on the not-so-easy days

And sometimes, it’s the smaller promises that land the most.

Keep it natural (this matters more than anything)

You don’t need to suddenly become a different version of yourself.

If you’re not overly romantic, that’s completely fine. If humour is part of your relationship, include it.

The best vows sound like something you would actually say to each other on a normal day… just with a little more intention behind them.

Keep it short (really)

There’s no need to write a speech.

A minute or two is usually perfect.

Enough to say what matters, without overthinking it or feeling like you have to fill space.

A little bit of lightness goes a long way

Vows can be emotional, but they don’t have to be heavy the whole way through.

A small moment of humour or an inside joke can make everything feel more relaxed.

Something like:

• “I promise to always let you control the music on road trips… most of the time”

• “I promise to keep laughing with you, even when your jokes are questionable”

It doesn’t take much, just something that feels like you.

Write it down (and maybe practice once)

Having your vows written down makes a big difference on the day.

It takes the pressure off having to remember everything, and gives you something to come back to if emotions take over (which they often do).

Even reading them through once or twice beforehand can help you feel more comfortable.

Give yourself time — but don’t overthink it

You don’t need to sit down and write everything in one go.

Sometimes the best lines come when you’re not trying too hard.

But also, try not to edit it into something it’s not.

The slightly imperfect version is usually the most real.

A few simple vow examples (just to get you started)

If you’re not sure where to begin, here are a few short examples to give you a feel for it:

Simple and heartfelt I promise to stand by you, support you, and keep choosing you, every day.

Warm and personal I love the way you make life feel easier, lighter, and more fun. I promise to always be on your team.

Light and playful I promise to keep laughing with you, even when we’re both a bit tired and everything feels slightly chaotic.

Short and meaningful I choose you. Today and always.

A mix of everything I promise to support you, to be patient, and to keep showing up for us, and to always save you the last bite.

There’s no right format.

Just something that feels honest.

A little reassurance

If you’re feeling nervous about this part, that’s completely normal.

In fact, it usually just means it matters.

And on the day, you’re not being judged.

You’re just sharing something real with each other.

And I’m right there with you if you lose your place, need a pause, or want to take a breath.

Simply put...

Your vows don’t need to be perfect.

They just need to feel true to you, and the way you are together.

If you’d like a bit of help shaping them, or just want someone to sense-check what you’ve written, I’m always here.

Mandy x